Girls, Girls, Girls
by thexlastxfantasy
Summary: Dwayne eyes a girl across the beach, but has to wait for her to leave before he can taste her. He begins thinking about how the Boys preferences in a girl are dramatically different and about their past romances. Dwayne one-shot!


Dwayne sat alone on a railing that surrounded a platform overlooking the beach. He was facing away from the water, looking towards a crowd of bustling people and an area of picnic tables. He had his eyes set on one girl in particular, who was daintily eating a salad. She sat alone and kept her eyes on her food and her text books. Dwayne chuckled to himself; the only good thing about summer being over, was all the little school girls that were running around.

This one was from a Catholic high school at the edge of Santa Carla. By now he knew which uniforms belonged to which schools. She was wearing a typical red, black, and white plaid skirt and a navy blue sweater over a long-sleeved white collared shirt. The sweater was a V-neck that showed she buttoned all of the white shirt's buttons. He wondered how she could endure that when it was still hot out.

Just then, a breeze came and ruffled up her skirt. She wasn't wearing any stockings so he got a nice glimpse of her tan thighs. He silently cursed the wind for not blowing a little stronger to see if she was going commando. She went back to eating her salad after smoothing her skirt back in place and opening a book. She placed her fork down and began writing something. From the look of the thick paged packed, Dwayne knew she would be here a while.

He let his mind wander, waiting for her to finish and leave so he could follow her down a dark alley. He began thinking of how each of the Boy's taste in girls differed so greatly. He enjoyed a nice little school girl, no younger than seventeen-because things just got weird any younger. He could care less about hair color just as long as she had a pleasing face and smelled sweet. Marko on the other hand was the opposite. He had to have blondes. For some reason, he had in his mind that any other color just didn't taste right. It didn't matter if the girl was a natural brunette; if she dyed her hair blonde then Marko would have her.

Marko also didn't care about looks. That's what weirded the Boys out the most. Dwayne held back a laugh as he remembered the time when Marko brought home a chick, and David swore-still swears to this day, in fact-that it was a drag queen. Paul took a little peak at her after she was drained dry, but even he couldn't quite figure out what was going on down there. Marko just shrugged it off and said she tasted like barbeque, and he couldn't resist.

Dwayne was brought out of his day dreaming when he saw the school girl get up. He was about to slide off the railing when he noticed that she was just throwing away her salad container. She continued on with her homework, and he continued on with his thoughts.

The best way to describe Paul was…well he was an ass man. The bigger and jigglier, the better; as he liked to say. Dwayne shivered; to him a big ass was a sign that the girl had too many fries with her meals. He wasn't one to judge, but he judged Paul. Everyone judged Paul ever since he brought home Tracy. Dwayne couldn't decide what was worse; that Marko ate a drag queen, or that Paul slept with Two Ton Tracy- as David now refers to her- and actually let her go. What Paul did could be considered a 'Booty Call', but 'booty' didn't even begin to describe Tracy. Now don't get him wrong, Dwayne didn't have a problem with big girls; Fat Bottom Girls was his favorite Queen song. But when it came to Tracy-even Freddie Mercury would have run away screaming.

First off, she was from Big Time Fun strip joint, which only hired girls 200 pounds and over. Second off, her rear was what pushed her past the 300 pound mark. Dwayne held in a snort as he remembered Marko and David's face when Paul brought her into the cave. It was a cross between horror and amusement. Once Paul took her into one of the more private areas of the cave, they began betting on if he would survive this one night stand. Oh he survived alright, and he made sure everyone knew he was having a good time. Tracy walked out of that cave with her head held high, and Paul came back out with the biggest shit eating grin you've ever seen.

Dwayne was smiling when he was snapped out of his thoughts. The school girl sneezed, sniffled, then returned to her work. He sighed as he wondered how much longer she would be. His stomach was aching for her.

He decided to avoid thinking any more about Two Ton Tracy. Some things were just meant to be forgotten. He thought about David and Star instead. So far, David was the only one out of the group to have a longtime girlfriend that he wasn't interested in eating. In fact, Dwayne overheard David and Max talking about turning her into one of them. Having Star as a sister wasn't exactly Dwayne's idea of a perfect family, but anything was better than Running Water. Dwayne released an inward growl as he remembered Running Water-or Water for short. Her real name was Alexis Heart Groover, but changed it when she became aware of the hippie revelation.

David's taste in women has never been good. Back in the fifties he went for greaser girls-which actually wasn't that bad of choice for him- but then the sixties rolled around. He gave up his greaser ways and began chasing the hippie chicks even though he refused to become a hippie himself. Now that the Peace, Love, and Drugs era was over, he was content with his gypsy girl. Dwayne's mind began wandering into the funny feeling he got about Star, but came back to Running Water. No matter what Star did, it couldn't be worse than Water.

It all started when David first brought her home. Dwayne remembered that her hair was in a braid with flowers woven in and her skirt looked like it was made out of rags. He tried to ask David what he found so attractive about plain girls that are constantly in a high state, but he refused to answer. That's one mystery that will never be solved. A few days went by, and Water was still there. She began to grate on Dwayne's nerves, but Marko was the one who really suffered. Water seemed to have a personal vendetta against him, and no matter what he did it was always wrong and promoted Big Brother. He could take a shit, and that would be supporting the war. Eventually Marko got sick of it and split from the group. Dwayne tried to get David to see that Water was going to ruin them, but she had him so messed up with her _special _blend of marijuana, that he just stared at Dwayne.

Her next attack was on Paul. He used to have a white jacket that was made from sheep skin. That jacket was his favorite; it was his baby. He never went a day without touching it; not because it was soft and comfortable, but because it had Buddy Holly's signature on it. Well Water didn't like Buddy Holly, and she was against wearing animal skins. So one night when Paul was feeling frisky and decided not to wear it, she took it, burned it, and buried it to give it back to Mother Earth. Paul blew a gasket. It resulted in him giving Water a bloody nose, pissing on _Mother Earth_ in her presence, and leaving to join Marko. This whole scene took place as David was in la-la land.

Dwayne never regretted what he did. There was only one way to save his friend and get the Boys back together. He gave Miss Running Water back to her Mother Earth. This was the one and only time he killed someone without drinking their blood and burying them instead of throwing them out into the ocean. Dwayne shut his eyes and tried to hold in the laughter that was trying to escape. He didn't want passersby to think he was crazy, but every time he thought about that night, he felt the urge to giggle with glee.

Water left Dwayne alone for the most part because he was Native American, and to her Native American's were _good people_. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. He decided to take her to an old Cocopa burial ground. She was more than excited to learn about these _good people's_ ways. Oh he showed her their ways alright. He ended up burying her where the Cocopa buried their animal remains.

It wasn't hard to get Marko and Paul back, but David just didn't want to give up that special blend marijuana. Paul thinks David still has a small secret stash somewhere in the cave.

The school girl closed her books and brought Dwayne back into reality. She shuffled her papers and put them in a folder. Collecting all her pens and pencils she stood up and nearly ran into a tall man. She looked up at him and saw he had long dark hair.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"You sure can," Dwayne smirked as his mouth began to water.


End file.
